Katie and I are so grateful for the time we have taken to go through this process. We knew at the beginning of 2018 that we needed to take a minimum of three months off during the end of 2018 and beginning of 2019. The physical demands of touring full time (multiplied by 11 years makes your body feel at least 10 years older. When we found out that Katie was pregnant we immediately (and unanimously) decided that 3 months needed to actually be 5 months.
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5 months seemed the most natural to us. It is what our collective mind and body have been saying for years. Our Spirit also let us know we need to take this time for ourselves, for our baby, for our family and our career(s). The culture from which we come from however says the opposite. The idea that a mom and dad would take anything more than a week or two away from the hampster wheel is ridiculous. Right? My job can feel like a hampser wheel too sometimes. I'm not calling anyone out in particular.
Where I'm from, the second question a lot of people ask a stranger (after what is your name) is "what do you do?"
What do you do... as in what do you do for work and/or how do you make money??
We are conditioned to work but are we Created to grind? Are we Created to make a corporation as much money as possible? Or in my case, am I Created to grind 175 shows a year... I could do 300 if I wanted... and make as much as possible for the family...
Am I created to do that?
At what cost?
How much of my today to I give up for (the hope of) tomorrow?
I have felt both ways.
Am I or am I not defined by what I do (or don't do) to make money...
And, is my worth or identity connected to it?
If so, how much.
These are things I think about.
Where I'm from, the second question a lot of people ask a stranger (after what is your name) is "what do you do?"
What do you do... as in what do you do for work and/or how do you make money??
We are conditioned to work but are we Created to grind? Are we Created to make a corporation as much money as possible? Or in my case, am I Created to grind 175 shows a year... I could do 300 if I wanted... and make as much as possible for the family...
Am I created to do that?
At what cost?
How much of my today to I give up for (the hope of) tomorrow?
I have felt both ways.
Am I or am I not defined by what I do (or don't do) to make money...
And, is my worth or identity connected to it?
If so, how much.
These are things I think about.
Taking four and half months to learn how to be a family was the best thing we could have ever done. If there was one thing we could have done better - it would have been to take more time. Like 6, 7 or 8 months. Developing this bond between all three of us is priceless. No amount of money could be more important then all the time(s) we get to hold her in our arms. We get to build this trust with one another. When she cries (which isn't a lot) she self comforts or finds comfort in either Katie or myself. That is trust. And that trust is sacred to us.
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5 months of maternity and paternity leave has been vital to the foundation of our family.
I can't believe (actually, I can) why our hyper consuming, money worshiping leaders (and talking heads) feel that new mothers and fathers are "lazy" and "entitled" for wanting (or believing) that anything more than a week away from making someone (else) money (after your birth) is a bad thing.
I can't believe (actually, I can) why our hyper consuming, money worshiping leaders (and talking heads) feel that new mothers and fathers are "lazy" and "entitled" for wanting (or believing) that anything more than a week away from making someone (else) money (after your birth) is a bad thing.
A few miles behind where we live (on the backside of the mountain and a few miles up hill) is a neighborhood called the Red Hill Township. Townships (in South Africa) are where the blacks live. The townships are metal shacks with stones weighing down the roofs. Many South Africans say it is dangerous to go in (or around) the townships...
Over where we live, in Scarborough, we pick up hichhikers from Red Hill (everyone in South Africa hitchhikes). People stand on the side of the road with money in their hand. A lot of the population does not have a car (let alone the means to save up and buy a car).
We pickup hitchhikers every single day when we drive past Red Hill. The people we meet are not dangerous. They are not poor. They dress nicer than Katie and me. They are rich in culture not to mention some of the nicest people we meet. We have picked up some South Africans but mostly refugees from Zimbabwe and other people from Malawi and Namibia.
Just some of the most beautiful people you would ever meet with amazing stories.
We talk to these people like we do anyone - with respect, dignity and sensitivity.
One of the men we picked up was a refugee from Zimbabwe. Katie expressed her sorrow about the violence that caused him to leave his home. He looked at her and said "the media makes it worse than it is and I just have to enjoy my life where I'm at today and make the most of it and I am happy."
That's what he said after we dropped him off at the Township.
Over where we live, in Scarborough, we pick up hichhikers from Red Hill (everyone in South Africa hitchhikes). People stand on the side of the road with money in their hand. A lot of the population does not have a car (let alone the means to save up and buy a car).
We pickup hitchhikers every single day when we drive past Red Hill. The people we meet are not dangerous. They are not poor. They dress nicer than Katie and me. They are rich in culture not to mention some of the nicest people we meet. We have picked up some South Africans but mostly refugees from Zimbabwe and other people from Malawi and Namibia.
Just some of the most beautiful people you would ever meet with amazing stories.
We talk to these people like we do anyone - with respect, dignity and sensitivity.
One of the men we picked up was a refugee from Zimbabwe. Katie expressed her sorrow about the violence that caused him to leave his home. He looked at her and said "the media makes it worse than it is and I just have to enjoy my life where I'm at today and make the most of it and I am happy."
That's what he said after we dropped him off at the Township.
Here I am living this life of privilege.
In my nice rental car coming back from my ocean front AirBnb that I rented for a few months.
Going to and from the grocery store at will, without having to climb, walk and/or hitchhike the 15 miles up and down a massive mountain because I will never make enough money in my lifetime to ever buy a car... This refugee from Zimbabwe whom we picked up hitchhiking told us (and showed us) that he is happy. So. Who is rich and who is poor?
If you want to be rich, want more or desire less.
I have to decide to see, listen, feel, receive, process and never forget the stories of so many people I have met across this continent and around the world.
Or, do I decide to not see, not listen, not feel and instead assume, pity and so on??
Or is it both. Am I rich and poor?
In my nice rental car coming back from my ocean front AirBnb that I rented for a few months.
Going to and from the grocery store at will, without having to climb, walk and/or hitchhike the 15 miles up and down a massive mountain because I will never make enough money in my lifetime to ever buy a car... This refugee from Zimbabwe whom we picked up hitchhiking told us (and showed us) that he is happy. So. Who is rich and who is poor?
If you want to be rich, want more or desire less.
I have to decide to see, listen, feel, receive, process and never forget the stories of so many people I have met across this continent and around the world.
Or, do I decide to not see, not listen, not feel and instead assume, pity and so on??
Or is it both. Am I rich and poor?
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